My Dead Mind
by souls of the dead
Summary: Before they left home for Shibusen, and even before they became friends, Alice Reydel and Kazuo Ohkubo were on the same wavelength. Even though he didn't know her, he protected her even if she didn't seem to want or need it.
1. Transfer

The first thing she noticed about Kazuo Ohkubo was that if he dressed in a different shirt and pant combination, he would look like a drag queen instead of Eastern Visual Kei, or Western Goth, seeing as he was wearing a black and grey striped long-sleeved shirt and black jeans tucked into a pair of white shin-high boots, and wore an iron collar and chain around his neck and a damaged fake diamond tiara on his head. The next thing she noticed were his pale golden eyes and short blonde hair that screamed adorable. He was the kind of guy she wanted to talk to and be friends with, but alas…

She, Alice Reydel, was shy beyond all logical reason.

Alice was fourteen - fifteen in two weeks - and a freshman at a high school in Nevada. She had choppy shoulder length white hair, wide black eyes, and skin almost as pale as snow. She wore a long white dress with black lace spiraling down her arms and around her torso. On her feet were white ballet flats.

"Now, students," the teacher at the front of the classroom, Mr. Blackwell, said, "please make Kazuo feel at home. He transferred in from Japan, so he may have a hard time adjusting. Please feel free to help him."

There were a few murmurs of "okay" around the room.

"Now, Kazuo," he pointed over to the last seat available, next to Alice, "you have to sit next to Miss Reydel."

Kazuo nodded and walked over to his seat. When he sat down, he glanced over at Alice and saw that she was shaking a little bit. And even that she was attempting to hide behind her short hair. He almost felt bad for her, it seemed like she had some sort of trauma, but if it was something that was medical, he didn't want to get involved. With that in mind, Kazuo turned back to face to the teacher.

"Now, class, we left off at the beginning of act two, scene two of _The Tragedy of Julius Caesar_. Can anyone tell me how the last scene ended?" Mr. Blackwell looked around the room; as usual, no volunteers. "Okay then… How about…Alice…?"

Alice froze, she was suddenly filled with fear.

"Tell me, Alice, how did scene one of act two end?"

She squeezed her eyes shut and ducked her head lower, pretending she wasn't there.

"…Come on, Alice, you know this, I know you do."

On the other side of the room, a girl laughed loudly. "You might as well be trying to talk to a wall, and you know it, Mr. Blackwell!"

Mr. Blackwell glared over at the girl who made the comment. "McKenna, I didn't ask for your 'professional' opinion."

"But she's right," a boy near the front of the room added, "that outcast probably doesn't even have a voice."

"If Alice even has a voice, she probably doesn't talk because she knows whatever she says will be wrong," another boy added.

"Kyle! Lucas!" Mr. Blackwell scolded. "If everyone continues to harass Alice like this, she will never talk, and no one will ever see the amazing person we all know she can be."

Kazuo looked back over at Alice, she was shaking again. He kind of understood why she was trying to hide from him a moment ago: she was the outcast for not being one of the loud, obnoxious people that they were surrounded by. She didn't want to change, but she didn't want this torment either. He really did feel bad for her right then.

As the teacher continued scolding Kyle, Lucas, McKenna, and another boy named Mark, the bell for lunch rang. Alice slowly stood up and then bolted into the hall towards her locker. Curious about her behavior, Kazuo followed her at a safe distance.

Alice grabbed her MP3 Player from her locker and hid it within her dress sleeve and hair - it easy seeing as the headphones were as white as her hair. She hit the Play button and _"Darkness"_ by Disturbed began to play softly. She began towards the cafeteria to get her lunch, not realizing that Kazuo was a few steps behind her.

Kazuo was all but stalking Alice as she went through the lunch line and took a small table off to the side of the cafeteria, alone. When she sat down, he considered joining her out of pity, even if they didn't talk, but was stopped by the guy named Kyle.

"Yo!" Kyle smiled cockily.

"Hey," Kazuo said quickly.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Over there." He gestured to where Alice was sitting.

"No, no, no." Kyle shook his head in disappointment. "You, Kazuo, need to come with me. If you sit with **her**, you'll be labeled as a loser right off."

"I really couldn't care less about labels."

He laughed. "I know you're just joking. Most guys feel bad for her when they first see her all alone, but they quickly learn to avoid her at all costs." He threw an arm around Kazuo's shoulders, which he absolutely hated, and pretty much dragged him over where Mark, McKenna, and Lucas were sitting with a few other people.

Alice glanced over from her seat when she saw Kazuo heading her way, but was now staring at her food. She shouldn't even think about being anything more than the outcast loser with no friends, it was just how things were.

Kazuo looked back over at Alice as he sat down next to Kyle. He looked back over at the people at the table. "So, why is Alice a…loser?" He said the last word with some poison in his voice. He hated labels like "loser" more than anything else.

"She's just weird," McKenna said as-a-matter-of-factly. "I mean, she doesn't even like to party. She **never **talks. And have you seen that god awful hair? Ew! And her clothes are just…out of style."

"Not to mention that she's probably still a virgin," Lucas added.

"Probably? That girl is one-hundred percent virgin."

Kazuo shrugged. "So what?"

"Huh?" Everyone at the table looked at him like he had said something blasphemes.

"She doesn't want to party, that's okay, it'll keep her alive longer. She's quiet, which is a good trait in a woman. Her hair is different," he looked over at Alice, "almost Visual Kei, while her clothing is Lolita." He looked back at them. "And the fact that she's a virgin is **great**! No one needs to be having sex at our age."

Everyone at the table suddenly began busting out laughing. Some of them commented that Kazuo had made a very funny joke by complimenting Alice like he did. His eyes narrowed as they laughed, he could already tell that he didn't like them.

Alice looked over at where Kazuo was sitting as the table busted out laughing. She could sense that he was getting angry at them over something, though she couldn't even begin to imagine what. She turned up her music a bit and continued to eat. She wasn't going to let them get to her again while she was eating.

…

After lunch, as Alice was walking towards her locker to return her MP3 Player there, she found herself surrounded by Kyle, McKenna, Lucas, and Mark. She froze and looked at the ground - making eye contact with them was never good.

"Well, still not speaking?" Kyle laughed.

"Why do you even ask?" McKenna rolled her eyes.

"Don't question me!"

Lucas grabbed Alice's arms tightly. "Come on, let's just get this over with. We can't be late for class again."

Kyle popped his knuckles. "Right." He punched Alice in the gut, hoping for a scream or yelp, but got nothing. "Come on, you know you need to let your sounds of pain be heard."

Alice breathed heavily, but refused to cry out in pain, no matter how much in hurt. Screaming for help, yelping, or making any sound of pain would be telling them that they won, and she wouldn't let that happen. Ever.

He growled. "Lucas, drop her."

Lucas threw her against the lockers, where she sank into a ball. Her back hurt from where it hit a lock, but she still didn't make a noise. She knew that even if she did let them win by crying out in pain, it would also be a signal to anyone walking by that she was being hurt, but still she wouldn't.

"Dammit!" Kyle kicked her as hard as he could. "You're in pain, aren't you? Are you even human? Can you even feel **anything**?"

Kazuo walked up to where Kyle's shouting was coming from. "What're you doing?"

Kyle faced Kazuo and smiled. "Kazuo! You can prove you're one of us, right here and now!"

"Huh?"

He stood aside and pointed at Alice. "All you have to do is hurt her so bad that she finally cries out in pain."

Kazuo's eyes widened. He couldn't believe they would actually do something like this because she wasn't like them. He shook his head. "I won't."

"What was that?"

He grabbed the collar of Kyle's dark green Hollister shirt and tossed him into McKenna. "I said, 'I won't.'"


	2. Knight in Shining Armor

Kyle looked at Kazuo like he was insane. There had to be some sort of explanation for this! "What are you saying?"

"Just because Alice isn't like the rest of you doesn't mean she deserves this shitty treatment she's getting!" Kazuo yelled.

Alice looked up at his back, surprised that anyone would stand up for her - treat her human.

McKenna laughed mockingly. "You can't be serious! That bitch needs to be taught-"

"Taught what?" Kazuo demanded. "Just because someone isn't like the rest of you doesn't mean that they can't feel!"

McKenna looked to Mark for support, but he too was in shock. No one had ever talked about Alice like she was a person. Most just ignored the treatment, Kyle, McKenna, Lucas, and Mark gave her…this was the first time anyone even thought to interfere.

Kazuo took his beginning stance that he had learned in his Judo class as a child. "If you want to get to her, you'll have to defeat me first. But, I feel I must warn you, I was the top student in my Judo class."

Without even stopping to think about it, all four turned around and went to class.

Once they were out of sight, he turned around and knelt down in front of Alice. "Alice, are you alright?"

She continued to looked at him with confusion deep in her eyes. She just couldn't understand why he had protected her.

He saw the confusion and said, "There is no honor is beating on someone who won't defend themselves. Besides, I like you, you're not like those obnoxious bastards."

She had to smile at that.

Kazuo chuckled when he saw the smile. He looked down and saw her leg bleeding. "Your leg! Come on," he helped her up to her feet, "let's get you to the nurse."

Alice nodded and followed Kazuo to nurse's office only a short walk away. When they arrived, though, they discovered that the nurse wasn't in at the current moment, so Kazuo sat Alice down on one of the beds and reached into a cabinet for some antibiotic ointment and a bandaid.

"…You sh-shouldn't do that…" She said softly.

"What?" He turned and stared at her, amazed that she had talked to him.

Alice sat without responding for another moment, but finally said softly, "The n-nurse doesn't like when…we use her things…"

"It's fine," Kazuo said as he cleaned the blood off of her leg. "Besides, your leg is bleeding, I'm not just gonna let it go untreated."

She flinched when the ointment touched the cut; it stung for a moment. "Why did you help me?"

"I already told you."

"…I mean…why do you care?"

"Is there a reason I shouldn't?" Kazuo waited another moment before saying, "There's no reason why I shouldn't care. They have no reason why they hate you, other than the fact that they're all idiots, and you're obviously not." He smiled at her.

"…That doesn't…"

"Make sense?" He chuckled. "I know it probably doesn't, but it's the only thing I could really think of. But, look, if you want me to, I'll defend you."

"W-What?" Alice couldn't believe what he just said. She had to have heard that wrong.

"I'll defend you." He stood up and sat beside her on the bed. "It might seem…well, weird, I guess would be the right word, for the guy you just met, and just transferred in, to be offering to help you. And I do realize that…but I want to help you."

She buried her face, burning red, into her hands to hide it. "…Why?"

"I told you, I like you."

That just made her face more red, and she didn't say anything.

Kazuo chuckled. "Not like someone who wants to ask you out or anything, but almost like a friend."

"B-B-But…we just…met."

"Yeah, weird, huh?" He laughed.

The nurse walked in and looked at them both funny. "Can I help you?"

"Ah, no," Kazuo said, "it's all taken care of. I just wanted to wait until you returned to tell you that I opened a bottle of ointment and took a bandage for her leg."

The nurse glared at both of them. "You should know the rule! No one is supposed to use anything without my permission!"

"With all due respect, I'm a new student, and her leg was bleeding."

She sighed heavily. "Was it something that could've waited until I returned?"

"No ma'am, it was a gusher."

"Fine," she said angrily. She grabbed a clipboard and thrust it in Alice's face. "You, girl, sign this so that I have documentation that you were here."

Alice nodded and signed the paper on the clipboard saying the time she was there and the time she left. Kazuo grabbed her hand and led her out of the office once the nurse turned around.

"Where's your next class?" He asked, knowing full well that class was pretty much halfway over.

She tilted her head to side as if to ask him why.

He looked back at her and saw her head tilted to the side and said, "So I can walk you there."

She shook her head.

"Why not? And why aren't you talking to me anymore?"

Alice just shook her head again and tore her hand away from him before running to her class.

Kazuo watched as she ran off and sighed. He wasn't sure if he would ever understand her, but he'd be damned if he didn't try. With that thought in mind, he looked at his schedule and walked towards his next class.

…

After the final bell rang, Alice walked to her locker to grab her MP3 Player again. When she got there, she found Kazuo waiting for her. As she opened her locker, she glanced at him from the corner of her eye almost as if to ask why he was there.

He saw this look and shrugged. "I told you that I was going to defend you, but when you didn't seem to really give a straight answer on that, I decided to actually go even further and protect you."

She slipped her MP3 Player into a pocket of her dress and looked at him like he was crazy.

"I'm not crazy," he said immediately.

She nodded as she grabbed her history book and shut her locker. She turned and walked for the front entrance.

"Wait up!" He ran up behind her. "Why won't you talk to me again? You know, like before…?"

Alice sped up.

Kazuo kept her pace, even though she sped up. "Come on, Alice. Please, just one word."

She kept trying to lose him until she rounded a corner and saw Kyle, McKenna, Lucas, and Mark standing there. She froze and let Kazuo stand behind her, and even wrap one arm around her shoulders as they continued to walk. The four didn't even look at them as they passed, even though both could sense the anger in the air around them.

Once they were outside of the school, Alice sped up again, leaving the confinement of his arm. Kazuo sighed and caught up to her again. They walked in silence to her house, where she finally turned on him at the front door.

"…Why…are you following me?" She demanded.

"I told you, I'm going to protect you," he said like it was no big deal.

She sighed and shook her head. "Kazuo…"

He smiled. "You said my name!"

She looked at him blankly.

"Okay, okay," he chuckled. "Look, just let me be your protector and I'll stop bothering you constantly."

"…Fine." She shook her head. "Goodbye." She turned and walked inside of her house. Inside, she leaned against the now locked door and sighed. _Huh, a knight in shining armor… Didn't see that coming._


	3. Secrets Shared

As Alice was getting ready to go to yet another day in the hell called high school, there was a knock at the front door. She walked to the front door with a toothbrush sticking out of her mouth, still dressed in a baggy green nightshirt and black shorts, and her hair still in a mess from the tossing and turning the eventually led to sleep the night before, answering the door to Kazuo.

He smiled. "Hey there!"

She sighed and motioned for him to come in as she continued brushing her teeth. "…What're you…doing here?" She asked after she spit into the bathroom sink.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm protecting you."

"A-At school," she pointed out as she rinsed her toothbrush off and walked back into her room. He tried to follow her in, but got shoved out and the door locked behind him.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't walk you." Kazuo shrugged.

Alice sighed as she slipped into her dress and opened the door walk back into her bathroom. "…I'm just…gonna say this now…you're weird."

"Yeah, what else is new?"

She sighed again and brushed out her hair quickly before moving into the kitchen to get a granola bar for breakfast. She offered one to Kazuo, but he refused it. She grabbed her history book and MP3 Player off the couch and they left without much else being said. Alice ate on the granola bar until they got about halfway to the school, when she finished it.

"You seem to have a pretty solid morning routine," Kazuo said, attempting small talk.

"Uh-huh," Alice replied softly.

"Are you going to do the whole silent treatment thing again?"

She looked at him sidelong and then looked back forward.

"Dammit," he mumbled.

The rest of the walk to school was quiet, save for the few more attempts at conversation Kazuo desperately tried to get to work. Once the school was in sight, he stopped trying to get her to talk to him, and decided to just try later. Hell, once they got to the school, they'd have to go separate ways for their classes anyway.

His eyes narrowed when he realized that, it meant that he couldn't protect her all day. And from what he gauged of Alice and those who had been around her in class, even if she was beaten on while he wasn't around, he'd never know of it.

"Dammit!" Kazuo yelled suddenly.

Alice looked at him funny when he yelled out of nowhere. They were in front of the entrance to the school, so everyone who was dreading the day and not willing to go in, was looking at him. It just wasn't normal for someone to suddenly yell.

He looked around and just waved with a smile when he noticed everyone staring. Alice, on the other hand, left him behind and went into the building. Once he realized he had been left behind, Kazuo ran up behind her.

"Hey, can you show me to my class?" He asked once they were sitting down in the cafeteria, where she sat during lunch, waiting for the bell to first hour to ring.

She plucked his schedule from his hand and nodded before handing it back.

"Great!" He smiled. "So, tell me about yourself."

She looked at him like he was insane. She didn't want to talk to him, and she knew he knew it, but it sure as hell wasn't stopping him.

"Come on…!" Kazuo almost begged. "You have an MP-three Player, what songs are on there? What kind of music?"

Alice grabbed a notebook from Kazuo's bag and wrote on a black sheet of paper, _"What happened to NOT bothering me?"_

He read it and laughed. "You didn't think I was serious, did you?"

She sighed and leaned back in her seat with an annoyed look on her face. Just what she needed, some guy who was going to try and be her boyfriend or something. She'd welcome a friend, but the direction this was going was the exact direction she never wanted anything in high school to go.

Kazuo chuckled. "You know, I've seen that look a lot of times, and I can assure you that I don't want to date you. I seriously just wanna be friends."

She stared at him with a look that quite plainly said, "I don't believe you."

He sighed. "And why not?"

Alice grabbed the notebook again and wrote, _"Because you're acting too weird to just want to be friends."_

"Weird?" He asked with an eyebrow raised.

She nodded.

"I assure you, I, one-hundred percent, just want to be friends."

She stared at him with the same, "I don't believe you," look.

"You want me to prove to you that I just wanna be your friend?"

She nodded.

"Okay then. Here's a bit of information that you can confirm with everyone I know back in Japan: I'm gay."

Alice's eyes went wide with a mix of shock and amazement. "…S-Seriously?"

He nodded. "Yep. In fact," he pointed over at Lucas, "if he wasn't a total douche like the rest of them, he'd be my type."

She giggled. "Really?"

Kazuo smiled. "Hell yeah! I mean, you gotta admit, he's pretty cute."

She looked over at Lucas, and moved her hand in a side-to-side motion that meant maybe. "He's…okay… There're some…better guys around."

"Really?" He leaned forward, over the table with a big grin. "I can't wait to see them!"

She chuckled. "…You know…you seem like such…a manly man… I would've never guessed."

He looked surprised. "Most people guess from the fact that I wear a fake diamond tiara on my head, but you seriously wouldn't have guessed…?"

She shook her head.

"Wow, that's a first."

Both looked over at where the four "douches" were sitting just in time to see them look back at each other. They had been staring in shock and awe at Kazuo and Alice talking. It was surprising for them to see her talking instead of looking at the table.

Kazuo shrugged and looked back at Alice. "So, I told you something about me. Let's hear something about you."

She sighed, knowing she should've seen that coming. She thought for a minute or two before saying, "…My…parents are graduates…of Shibusen in D-Death City."

"Dude! Really?" His mouth dropped open, he was impressed.

She nodded.

"Damn! But why aren't you attending Shibusen then? I mean, as the child of graduates, you're bound to be a Weapon or Meister, right?"

She shrugged. "…Probably…"

"Can I meet your parents?"

She shook her head.

"Why not?"

"Th-They're out of…town."

"Where?"

Alice shrugged again. "I…don't know. They were going somewhere…for Lord Death, but haven't…returned yet…"

"I see. Any idea when they'll be back?"

She shook her head. "…They've been gone for…nearly a year…"

Kazuo's eyes widened. "Holy crap! You've been living alone all this time?"

She nodded.

"How do you pay for everything?"

"…They send me…money everyone now and again."

"Huh…" He chuckled. "Who'd have thought? Are your parents Meister and Weapon respectively?"

She nodded again.

"Does anyone else know about this?"

She shook her head.

"I'm the only one that knows… That's awesome!"

She chuckled. "…I guess…"

The bell for first hour rang and the mass of students gathered in and around the cafeteria began moving towards their classes. Alice quickly showed Kazuo to his first hour class before heading to hers, two classes down the hall from his.


End file.
